Maintaining a loving marriage based on love and respect and being rooted in Christ requires intentional attention and work. It also requires honest introspection.
While I would love to tell you that my marriage has taken priority, I can’t. What you see may speak differently.
By the end of the homeschool day I am worn out, my house is a mess, my clothes have paint stains on them, and dishes are in the sink waiting to be washed. Any remaining energy is divided between my job and my husband. I expend my energy on my homeschool and my children. My husband has understood, respected, and appreciated the demands. He has even supported me in all I did and endeavored to do. Yet, that didn’t stop him from feeling our connection was fading.
Resting in our strong relationship quickly turned to taking him for granted. Had I taken a moment to look up between physics and the French Revolution, I may have noticed I was neglecting him. Make no mistake; unintentional neglect feels the same as intentional neglect and the results can be just as damaging.
As we go through your day on auto pilot we sometimes have to remind ourselves to pull into a rest stop. We need to take time to reignite the passion in our marriages by reminding ourselves why we feel in love in the first place. Taking an unflinching look at who we were and who we have become offers the insight to begin mending distant hearts.
Where the Trouble May Begin
Your Husband Feels Second to the Children:
A homeschool mom is the caretaker of every aspect of her children’s lives from daily needs to their education. Education does not neatly fold into a box. It expands into sports, social opportunities, and co-op activities. We spend a large portion of our time with a lesson plan book and curriculum magazines. When we aren’t searching curriculum we are talking about curriculum. In the midst of the homeschool flurry our spouse may feel left out.
To alleviate this get your spouse involved in homeschooling. Perhaps he can teach a class or take the kids on a field trip. Meet with your husband to discuss the progress the children are making or ask his opinion on curriculum selections. Your husband may understand homeschooling more if he had a parent/teacher conference. Encourage your children to involve him by making him art projects or showing him an aced spelling test. Remind your husband how important it is that he takes an interest in the children’s education.
You are not Spending Time as a Couple:
Scrounging up the energy for couple time presents a challenge for both husband and wife. The best way to rectify the no-couple-time-blues is planning. Plan a date night once a month. Date nights are not required to be extravagant. Simple date nights such as a walk in the park, going for ice cream, or an evening at the book store, are enough to reignite romance. On a regular basis consider taking time daily to talk to your husband about him. Let him know that he still sweeps you off your feet and he is still the only person you desire to spend time with. Focused time together daily, even if only for 15 minutes, will maintain connection.
You are not Praying Together
If you used to pray with your husband or you have never prayed with your husband then commit to forge this road. Seek the Lord together establishes your unity and prevents you from drifting apart spiritually. Praying together is a time when both of you humbly seek guidance and praise the God for all His blessings. If you ever prayed with a friend you know the deep bond that occurs. Do not deprive your marriage of this blessing.
How are you reconnecting with your husband?
Richele is a homeschool mom to four children and wife to the best man this side of Heaven. Author of Princess Training: For His Glory, and owner of Under the Golden Apple Tree, she is happiest spending time with family playing games or hiking at the park. Come visit her on Facebook for encouragement and a few laughs. You can find Richele at Under the Golden Apple Tree, Facebook and you can purchase her eBook: Princess Training