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Why Your Family Feels Scattered (And What’s Missing)

It has been a long time since I wrote to you on Sunday night. I’ve been studying Nehemiah since January 13th, and I am only on chapter 4.

It has been a slow, in-depth, verse-by-verse adventure that has been so good. I have learned so much, and in many ways this study has helped me through some frustrating times. I believe it will help you as it has helped me. 

I am sharing today comes from the first 3 verses of Nehemiah. 

Each day, I’ve been squeezing the truth out like a damp sponge. Twisting and squeezing to extract that last little drop. It’s been so good. And exactly what I’ve needed.

Most people enter the short story of Nehemiah (it’s only 13 chapters long) expecting nuggets on leadership. I am picking up these leadership nuggets, saving them for later. One day, I will share…

The story of Nehemiah starts with Nehemiah in the king’s court in Susa. He asks his friend, Hanani, who had just returned from Jerusalem, about the condition of the people there.

Hanani described the “great trouble and shame” of the people, which plunged Nehemiah into deep, multi-day mourning over the condition of his people that had returned to Israel. The survivors, as Nehemiah called them. 

I have read Nehemiah numerous times in the past, and every time I have glossed right over the next truth I am about to point out, so I want to draw it out for you this evening.

By the time of Nehemiah, there were at least two groups of Israelite exiles who had already returned to Jerusalem from captivity. One came with Zerubbabel to rebuild the Temple about 70 years before, and another came with Ezra to re-establish the Law of the Lord about 40 years before.

So, already exiles had been in Jerusalem for decades with the re-instituted Law, the rebuilt Temple, and even celebrating holidays and sacrifices. So often, we forget this when we read Nehemiah.

Yet, the Israelites who had “survived the exile” were in horrible shape and not prospering in the Land.  

When I realized this, I thought…

Wait a minute…Zerubbabel and Ezra led efforts to rebuild the Temple. So, they had the Temple for praise, worship, and sacrifices. They had the Law to follow. There was the Mosaic Covenant, in which God promised to prosper the Israelites, conditional on their keeping the Law, and, by all accounts, they were doing this. But they still struggled. 

What was happening?

The answer is,

“The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.” (Neh. 1: 3)

The problem was that they were open to every influence and demand on their time, resources, and taskmasters. They had no boundary. No protection. No filters. Anyone or anything that wanted to get to the Israelites living in Jerusalem could, and this kept them from prospering.

Does this sound familiar?

Husbands tapping on your shoulder, asking for dinner. 

Children yanking at your dress to get your attention. 

Picking up your phone and doomscrolling all night. 

Fox News blaring in our living rooms. 

Televisions invading our bedrooms. 

Sleeping late, so we rush past the devotion time we had mapped out. 

No exercise. 

Missing Sunday night and Wednesday night church because we’re too tired. 

We are anxious with worry about the things we haven’t gotten done. 

The children are growing, and we are running out of time. 

In-laws and influencers are telling us what they think we should do.

We are open. 

On a hill. 

Exposed. 

No boundaries. No filters. No peace. Open to the roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. (I Peter 5:8) And, in many cases, we invite this roaring lion right into our home to sit at our table and devour until he is full.

When so many of us think of walls, we become too enamored in our lives with building our forts. Standing behind them and firing arrows over at our enemies. Most of the time, we fire without even looking. And, to us, this is what a wall is. Forts and Castles.

This is a superficial view.

A wall is a filter.

A wall allows for control. It has gates. You can schedule access and close the wall when a city wants to shut down. Shutting down could be for repairs, rest, or simply waiting until the city is ready. The city is in control, not the visitors.

For many of us, we let in a lot of unwanted visitors.

A wall provides focus. Ancient cities would grow right up to the walls and limit spreading beyond them. In some cases, the city would grow up inside the walls.

I am one of those that needs focus. My personality is a visionary which is a blessing and a curse. I’m always chasing the next idea. The problem with that is that sometimes you never get an idea across the finish line, which is exactly what the Lord has been dealing with me lately.

There is a truth here that I have never noticed before in Nehemiah. It is that prosperity depends on walls. Structure. Discipline. Filters.

We can have the best knowledge. Deep prayers. Stellar theology. Have sections of Scripture memorized. But, without walls, we don’t grow in the Lord and gain traction in His service.

Instead, we suffer.

We have a superficial view of what a wall is. It’s about so much more than protection, a fort to hide behind, so we can fire arrows at our enemies, or legalism to beat wayward Christians into submission.

A wall is about control of influence. Not being reactionary to everything.

For a person, a wall could be discipline and habits.

Accountability to keep you on the path.

Routines so you are always moving forward.

Systems to make things happen.

Standards to shield your senses from influences you don’t want.

And, being careful who you spend the most time with and listen to.

Without structure, you won’t grow. Consider our bodies, without a skeleton, we would be mush.

Without walls, we are a city on a hill that is open to every influence, opinion, criticism, and accusation. We are vulnerable and high-value targets. Open to every cunning approach of our enemy.

And then we wonder why we don’t have the strength to do anything. To stand for anything. To represent what it means to follow Christ.

This was the Israelites in Jerusalem in the time of Nehemiah. They had the Law. They had instituted observance of holidays, sacrifices, and sabbaths. They worked hard for purity. Even to the extremity of breaking up families at the end of Ezra. They studied the Scriptures. Yet, they had no walls.

Therefore, they did not prosper.

Paul talks about this sort of discipline, structure, and control in the early church.

In the first century, the church existed in the midst of envy, idolatry, and every imaginable evil we see today. In many cases, the early church existed in far more difficult circumstances than we do today.

Over and over, Paul talks about this idea of discipline, separation, and what we pay attention to.

He uses illustrations of the armor of God, the fruits of the Spirit, warriors, and athletes to make the point that there is a structured discipline in the heart of followers of God. Without this “wall”, we are open to every influence. We struggle with traction. And, we can’t move forward.

Using himself as the example to the Corinthian church, Paul says,

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control,…” (I Cor. 9:24-27)

Paul was focused. His life had structure. He lived with discipline. He instituted routine.

So, with that said, I have a little structure to start with. This is a start. 

This link takes you to our productivity assessment. The promise for this assessment is that if you put these routines in place, they will make you 30% more productive. That is, you will get 30% more done. 30% more traction in your days on average. 

It is a simple routine of things to make sure that you get into each day and week that will pay big dividends. 

After you take the assessment, there is a short email teaching series that will help you understand why each element is in this routine and what the Scriptural basis is for each one. Here is the Link Again. 

I want to leave you with one last thought that is one of the five pillars of what we believe at Teach Them Diligently regarding the home, parenting and homeschooling. 

What you practice daily is what your children believe is important.

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