David and I have been in Poland this week. When we started Teach Them Diligently, we also began an educational ministry here. Through that work, God has used a preschool to reach many families over the last 15 years—and we are so grateful.
The flight to Poland is always an overnighter, and we arrive exhausted. Years ago, we learned a simple rhythm that has helped our travel here immensely: if we stay in a hotel the first night, we can be quiet, take a nap, and go to bed at a normal time.
That reset helps us overcome the six-hour time difference so we can connect with the missionaries here and start the work refreshed… instead of walking around in a fog for days.
One of the sweetest gifts that comes from that rhythm is waking up very early the next morning—long before breakfast opens—and having a rare stretch of uninterrupted quiet.
The morning after we arrived, we sat with our Bibles open and spent extended time in prayer. No interruptions. No early morning texts or calls. Everyone we would normally be talking to at home was asleep in the States.
And then we went downstairs for coffee.
We lingered over a warm breakfast and just talked. Without the distractions that usually surround us, David and I had one of the best conversations we’ve had in a long time—about what God is teaching us, what we’re struggling with, and what He’s been reshaping in our hearts.
As we walked back upstairs, I felt this strong urge to text our grown kids and say, “Don’t lose this.” Don’t let the noise of life get so loud that you stop hearing each other. Fight for the quiet conversations. Open the Word together. Pray out loud together. Ask each other real questions and listen long enough to hear the heart underneath the answer.
Your kids will benefit from a thousand things you do as parents, but one of the greatest gifts you can give them is a mom and dad who are still choosing one another—still growing together, still turning toward the Lord side by side.
And I felt like I needed to share the same reminder with you.
Because no matter what season you’re in—babies, teens, or grandbabies—your marriage is one of the most important parts of the mission of your home.
We’ve talked for years about how important it is to connect with your spouse… to really communicate about what matters, and to share what God is teaching you. But those conversations can feel hard to prioritize in the middle of everything else you’re juggling: parenting, schooling, work, church, volunteering, schedules, laundry, meals, decisions.
Still—those conversations are priceless.
When you and your spouse share what God is doing in your hearts, you gain understanding you can’t get any other way. You begin to see where the other person is struggling, how God is meeting them there, and how He’s renewing their mind.
It draws you closer together and closer to the Lord at the same time.
It also grows respect. When you understand the “why” under someone’s tone, fatigue, or frustration, you stop assuming the worst. You start extending grace instead of reacting to the surface.
And friends… that is so needed in a busy home.
What it looked like for us in different seasons
When we had babies, toddlers, and young kids, it was easier to put everyone to bed around 8:00 and have a few hours together each evening. We’d talk, play games (and sometimes make up our own rules!), and invest intentionally in our marriage in the middle of a chaotic season.
As our kids got older, their bedtime shifted later. Activities increased. Life got louder.
That’s when David and I started taking short retreats or quick trips—purposefully getting away so we could pray together, talk together, and reconnect. Those times became a staple in our marriage, and I can’t overstate the impact they had.
Now we’re moving toward an empty nest. Our youngest is in college. We have married children and grandchildren. And the busyness of this season is different—sometimes even more intense. The need to invest in our marriage is no less important now than it was when our children were young.
Intentionally investing time and energy into your most important human relationship keeps you connected emotionally.
It’s easy to end up living parallel lives when you’re constantly running in different directions—he takes the boys here while she takes the girls there. And over time, that “togetherness” can grow stale without you even noticing.
That’s when the enemy can get a foothold in a marriage—quietly, subtly—through neglect, assumptions, or distance.
Prioritizing meaningful conversation also builds trust and unity. You and your spouse are growing and changing, but so often couples treat each other like they’re frozen in time.
I remember realizing at one point that David was responding to me like I was the person I had been years earlier—not the person I was becoming. That kind of disconnect can erode trust and create distance if it’s not lovingly addressed.
And don’t overlook this: spending quality time talking with your spouse can lower stress and create sweet memories. You fell in love with one another before you knew your children. And you’ll still be together after they launch (trust me… that happens quickly).
So invest the time. Guard the connection.
And finally—by no means least important—continue investing in your marriage physically. Keep the passion alive. The closeness God created for husband and wife is a gift. It blesses you, it strengthens your home, and it gives your children the stability of watching love that is consistent, safe, and growing.
A gentle challenge for this week
If life feels too loud right now, start small. Choose one simple step:
- Talk together for 10 minutes after the kids are in bed—no phones
- Make coffee and spend quality time together before the day starts
- Take a walk and share what God has been teaching you
- Text each other about what God taught you in your devotions that morning
Here are a few questions to get you started:
- What is God teaching you right now?
- Where do you feel stretched or weary?
- What are you asking the Lord to grow in you?
- How can I pray for you—specifically?
- What’s one small thing we could do this week to reconnect?
Your marriage is too important to drift on autopilot. Protect it. Guard it. Feed it. Pray over it. Make space for the conversations that keep your hearts soft toward God and toward each other.
The enemy would love nothing more than distance, assumptions, and quiet resentment—but you don’t have to give him that foothold.
Choose connection. Choose unity. Choose each other.