Strengthen Your Family Through Biblical Homeschooling

Tag: Dads

New Curriculum – Same Teacher?

During the 2018 Teach Them Diligently conventions across the southeast, I was given the privilege to speak to men about homeschooling. Yet during this time, I was curious about what other dads were thinking and struggling within the homeschool life. Well, they wrote down some questions and I told them I would answer them. They cover all kinds of subjects and areas, so get ready for “Answers from the Husband of a Homeschooling Mom”

Today the question comes from Keith! This can be a tricky and potentially dangerous answer, but let’s go for it.

“How do I handle disagreements with the wife on the curriculum?  For example, the current curriculum isn’t working, but it’s what my wife is comfortable or familiar with.  But it doesn’t match my daughter’s learning style.”

Keith, buckle in brother because this is going to be a wild ride for you.  

Pray

When there is any time that we as men think that we are right and the wife is wrong, we should take our thoughts to God and pray.  We may be right, they may be right, or we both may be totally wrong. So Keith, step one is to pray. Pray for God to reveal the right direction to both of you.

Talk to Your Wife

Keith, one of the smartest things I did was take my wife off on a curriculum planning day.  We took our ideas, papers, books out to a state park along with a lunch and we talked. She presented ideas on how the day should go, I countered with my thoughts.  Curriculums were tossed about on which one may and may not work. Which ones were more affordable and which ones were just so in-depth that it would cause confusion.  There were no kids there to watch, listen out for, or to attend to. It was a time where the two of us got together and LISTENED to each other.  This gives you both a chance to voice your opinion on how to make your homeschooling work.

Trial Run

Here is where your words turn to actions.  If you believe that there needs to be a different curriculum, purchase it and YOU take over that subject.  Some companies will allow you to purchase a one month trial or have a mid-year (start-over) discount. You may be right that your wife is comfortable with what she is doing.  She may have a great understanding of what is expected and what to expect from your daughter. You taking that subject over and demonstrating how to do it and showing it in action may alleviate some stress from your wife in possibly swapping over to a different curriculum.  However, it may also let you see that the problem may not be the wife or the curriculum. There is the chance that your daughter just does not care at this time to learn anything about that subject. Not bashing your daughter, just speaking fact. There are times in kids life when they just refuse to cooperate with anyone on some items.  

Evaluate

When the trial period is over, sit down and have a discussion with your wife.  Explain what worked for you and what did not. Ask her what her thoughts were on the way it was done.  See if her opinion of the curriculum has changed or has remained the same. Just be prepared that you Keith, may now be the teacher for this subject!  If that is the case, hold that head up high and be the teacher! Take that subject and stress off of your wife. More men should get involved with their family in homeschooling so they are more aware of issues just like this.  This may require for you to adjust your schedule with work. Currently, with one of my boys, I am doing something similar trying to help with focus in the mornings. Just be prepared to be the man but not the dictator.

 

Men, if you are going through something similar, let’s hear about it.  It is nice to know that you are not alone on the battlefield of homeschooling!

 

Till next time…

I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,

Steve Blackston

I would love to see you and your family at Teach Them Diligently 2019. If you register this month, during No Shave November and use discount code NOSHAVE10, you’ll get a great deal. Find the event closest to you by clicking here.

Be sure to check out all the articles in our #NOSHAVENOVEMBER Series for Dads by clicking here.

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During the 2018 Teach Them Diligently conventions across the southeast, I was given the privilege to speak to men about homeschooling. Yet during this time, I was curious about what other dads were thinking and struggling within the homeschool life. Well, they wrote down some questions and I told them I would answer them. They cover all kinds of subjects and areas, so get ready for “Answers from the Husband of a Homeschooling Mom”

Today the question comes from Chad!

Any advice on how to restore a broken relationship with a teenage son who you have verbally abused/ignored for 10 years of their life?

Chad I am going to be blunt and honest with you here, so just hang on. In 1989, Cher came out with a song called “If I could turn back time“. The truth is, we can not. Time is not meant to be rewound to a previous part so we can do it again. The progress of time is what keeps up going, striving to be better, and even producing wisdom along the way. One of my favorite quotes from any poem is this :

“Time is the school in which we learn,
Time is the fire in which we burn.” – Calmly We Walk Through This April Day ~ BY DELMORE SCHWARTZ

However, there is something that can be done.

First:

For a dad, it can be hard to do what I am telling you to do. We do not like to admit our failures, shortcomings, or our wrongs. But Chad, that is exactly what you need to do. You need to do that with God first. Let me ask you a question or two.
1. Where are you in your spiritual walk with God?
2. Where do you see yourself in your relationship with God?
3. Where do you see yourself as the spiritual/emotional leader of your family?
4. Seek forgiveness from God for your actions.

Yeah, not easy questions to answer. Those questions are not easy to answer if you are doing everything the best that you can with your family. However, those are questions that we all need to ask ourself and maybe even our spouse on how they see us.

Second:

Sit down with your son and ask for his forgiveness. This is one of the hard parts. We can ask for the forgiveness, but it is up to him on whether he will extend it to you. Here is where you may want to talk to him about the questions above and let him answer them in reference to you. The answers may hurt, they may sting, and they may make you feel like trash. Once he sees that you are admitting that you have done these things and are willing and trying to make restitution for the past years, things can start to change. This is the beginning of restoration Chad.

There is no quick and easy reverse to the decisions that we make in life. If there were, I most likely would not be the age that I am now because I would be going back and trying to make everything perfect. Instead, I put my trust and faith in Jesus, read and meditate on His words, attempt to think before speaking and do the best that I can. I am not perfect and neither are you. We will make mistakes, the key is to ask for forgiveness as we go along and not let it build up over the years.

I’ll be praying for you Chad and I hope that many other men reading this will also.

Till next time….
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,

Steve Blackston

Be sure to check out the other articles in this series for homeschool dads (as well as others specifically written for homeschool dads in days gone by)  by clicking here.

Now is a great time to go ahead and register your family for TTD2019! Click here to take advantage of discount code NOSHAVE10 before the end of November. 

Register for the Homeschool Convention Today

During the 2018 Teach Them Diligently conventions across the southeast, I was given the privilege to speak to men about homeschooling. Yet during this time, I was curious about what other dads were thinking and struggling within the homeschool life. Well, they wrote down some questions and I told them I would answer them. They cover all kinds of subjects and areas, so get ready for “Answers from the Husband of a Homeschooling Mom”

Today’s two questions come from Kevin and Nathan! I am putting these together because they both deal with helping the wife.

How do we help our wife avoid feeling overwhelmed?

How can you encourage your wife and diffuse negative emotions without making her feel ignored?

Listen

The way that I have found to encourage my wife and attempt to diffuse negative emotions is rather hard for most men. It requires us to listen to our wives. Not just hear them but listen to them and what they are saying. Then we must simply let them talk it out. I have said in my talks that there needs to be a point where the men simply listen and not try to solve everything as she is talking. Sometimes people just want to release the steam or stress of the day and they are not looking for immediate solutions. But men hear of a problem and do what they can to fix it.

Pray!

Men, before you open your mouth, pray. Pray for your wife. Pray for your words. Pray for the tone of your voice when you do talk to her. This is where your daily Bible reading is going to come into big play. If you have been reading and studying Gods word, you will be more equipped to give encouragement.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.”  (Pro 16:24 HCSB)

Are you as the husband of your wife, speaking words to build something strong or are you tearing down? What are your words doing to your wife? When we stop and think about it, we are all guilty of tearing down each other at times. Negative emotions are built on words that tear down.  But this is a chance that we have to rebuild and rebuild better than before! You see guys, we have to make our words sweet to the taste and healthy to the body. If you like to take bitter tasting medicine or eat bitter tasting food, you would be what I would call unusual. Most of the world would rather have something sweet than something bitter.

Pitch In

Most of the time we have our ideas of what is needed by the man of the house. We think of outdoor chores, cleaning the garage, or working of the automobiles. But what about helping in the house. Helping with dishes, folding the clothes, sweeping the floors, taking a class and teaching it to the kids. As I have said in many talks to men, let your wife go a soak in the tub by herself while you handle any issues, problems, questions that may arise while she chills. This should not be a one time things, but make it a nightly event for her. These are all things that you can do to help your wife not feel so overwhelmed. I have found that when she and I go to a restaurant for dinner every now and then helps. That’s right guys, $0.50 lemon-pepper wings and sweet potato fries on a date night and I can watch the stress melt away in my woman! Yeah, I am blessed!

Guys, I can not guarantee that anything here will work for every woman. But it is a start. And the best place for you to start is on your knees and with a Bible in your hands.

Till next time…

I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,

Steve Blackston

PS– I would really love to see you and your family at Teach Them Diligently 2019. Register now using discount code NOSHAVE10 to save $10 off that registration.  And be sure to check out the contest we’re running this month celebrating homeschool dads and their #TTDBeards! Get full details about how you could WIN a family registration here.

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Join Steve Blackston, the Husband of a Homeschooling Mom and Teach Them Diligently speaker, throughout the month of November as he shares articles and insights specifically geared towards encouraging homeschool dads based on questions he has received from dads at Teach Them Diligently events. And, join the #NoShaveNovember fun by posting pictures of #TTDBeards. We’ll highlight those pictures through the month on our Instagram and Facebook platforms. At the end of the month, five families who shared pictures will be chosen to win a family registration to Teach Them Diligently 2019! Let the fun begin as we all Celebrate the awesome TTD Homeschool Dads this month! I’ll let Steve give you the scoop– just watch the video below. :)

Be sure to check out the Teach Them Diligently Blog all month long to get some great tips for homeschool dads and get more details on this month’s celebrate dads #TTDBeards promotion.

So, show off those manly dad beards– whether they are real, drawn on, or simply imaginary– we cannot wait to see them. Be sure to tag them all #TTDBeards, so we can highlight them on our IG Story.

Click Here To Register Now! Use discount code NOSHAVE10 to save $10 off your registration for the rest of November. (If you’ve already registered when you win… we’ll be happy to refund that fee.)

Wondering what a Teach Them Diligently event is like? Download our free What to Expect Ebook today to get a better idea! The ebook for the site you’re most interested in can be found on your event’s home page. Got questions? Check out our FAQ page to get answers to a  lot of them! 

 

Be sure to check out the first article in the Celebrating Homeschool Dads series this No Shave November as Steve addresses “Helping the Wife.” Click here to read that now— Or, simply search type #TTDBeards in the search bar at the top of the page to see them all as they become available.

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Grill covered in meat

According to Holiday Insights website, tomorrow, November 2, 2017,  is National Make Your Wife Dinner Day, so we wanted to make sure you dads had plenty of time to prepare and plan!!

Just for fun, we wanted to share some of the Do’s and Don’ts we found for you dads when you make your wife and the family dinner tomorrow evening, but never fear, we also have a hefty dose of motivation and even some helpful recipes to get you on your way.

The official rules of Make Your Wife Dinner Day, according to our in-depth research on the subject (On the single website we could find.). :)

  1. The Most Important: Women cannot assist in the meal. Even rookie male cooks need to do it all by themselves, to gain a sense of accomplishment.
  2. No take out or prepared foods are allowed
  3. No grilling allowed. You have to branch out a bit, guys.
  4. If you’ve never cooked before, make it simple. If you like to cook, do something challenging.
  5. Prepare something that your wife will like.
  6. The meal must include a dessert. (May we suggest easy to make Jello? Add a dollop of whipped cream and a cherry to score a beautiful presentation she’s sure to enjoy!)
  7. You must clean up all the pots, pans, and mixing bowls used in preparing the meal.

If you are still hesitant about whether or not to participate in this holiday here are some motivations.

  1. You love your wife, and this would be a great help for them.
  2. This would be a fun bonding experience with your children.
  3. You could earn brownie points.
  4. You could learn some new skills.

Ok, So you have decided to participate and become the best husband ever. But you have no idea what to make. We have your back with these easy ideas and recipes:

  1. Make Spaghetti. It is an easy, delicious, and quick meal that everyone loves. Dad’s Spaghetti Recipe.
  2. Make a Soup. There are hundreds of different types of soup to choose from and with soup you can customize and experiment with different flavors. Plus, it’s fall! Fall is a great time of year for soup.  List of Easy Soup Recipes.
  3. Make Fresh Pizza. This is a super fun thing to make with your children– and you can knead and toss the dough pretending to all be professional chiefs. Super Easy Fresh Pizza Recipe
  4. Make Chicken Pot Pie. Chicken pot pie is easy to make and fun to say. :) Chicken Pot Pie Recipe.
  5. Or make your wife’s favorite meal.

We hope that both you and your family enjoy this fun day. We’d love to hear all about it! Leave us a comment here or share a picture on Instagram or Facebook with the hashtag #TTDDadsMakeDinner. One family using the hashtag will be selected to win a family registration to your choice of Teach Them Diligently event!!

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Hey dads! I am asking a question about you. Are you leading your house or just selling ice cream to the family? At this point you are asking if I have lost it. But this is all tied together by a quote that I recently saw by #RealEricGeiger that said “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader. Go sell ice cream”

Leading or Selling Ice Cream?
Leading or Selling Ice Cream?

When was the last time that you visited the ice cream store and left unhappy? Think about it, you enter a place of known happiness since childhood. Many of your favorite flavors are there waiting just for you to come and enjoy. Do you want sprinkles? Maybe dipped in chocolate? Or a waffle cone? One scoop or two? In the end you may have not gotten exactly what you went in for, but the final product was still good, satisfying, and not painful.

Now, let’s look at the last few times you made a decision in the household. Was it good for everyone? Was it painless for everyone? If so, congratulations! Many of the decisions that I make in the house usually gets someone upset with me. They are not always satisfying or painless. As a matter of fact they usually end up with someone getting pain! But being a leader means that you will have to make the tough decisions and stand by them no matter the cost.

Look at the life of Jesus. There were many times that people wanted to be with Him or follow Him. However, Jesus had a way to cutting to the core of a person and leading the situation. In doing so, He was not selling ice cream, He was leading. He was leading the rich young man when He told him to sell all that he had. It was not ice cream and the young man left disappointed. Again, a scribe approached and said

19 A scribe approached Him and said, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go!”
20 Jesus told him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head
(Matthew 8:19-20 HCSB)

What He was telling the scribe is that the animals know where they will sleep tonight, but me, I don’t know. After this we never hear of this scribe again. He is not mentioned throughout the rest of the scriptures. Jesus did not sell ice cream, He led. And many times, He led alone.

So men, are you leading or selling ice cream? There will be days that you are doing both, and days when you will only lead. However, before you tell everyone around you to suck it up and the ice cream shop is out of business, pray before you make your decisions. Sometimes, a little ice cream can make a tough decision a bit easier to handle. Personally, I like rocky road. (No pun intended!)

Till next time…
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,
Steve Blackston

More posts just for dad can be found by clicking here.

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Here I Am

Here I Am. Send Me.

The legacy of a nation is the legacy of its family and when the family breaks down, everything that is built on that sacred foundation falls down with it.

If you look about you now, we are reaping the “rewards” of family disintegrate.  We are living in a day where the norm is not to see the parents married to their original spouse.

Here I Am
Here I Am

We are living in a day where the kids are bounced from house to house for their turn with mama or daddy.  We are living in a time when kids are raising parents rather than parents raising their kids. The Bible speaks of this in the book of Isaiah

Isaiah 3

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
4 “I will make youths their leaders,
and the unstable will govern them.”
5 The people will oppress one another,
man against man, neighbor against neighbor;
the youth will act arrogantly toward the elder,
and the worthless toward the honorable.

The reason that we are seeing this happen is the same reason that it has happened before. Look a bit further in Isaiah chapter 3

8 For Jerusalem has stumbled
and Judah has fallen
because they have spoken and acted against the Lord,
defying His glorious presence.
9 The look on their faces testifies against them,
and like Sodom, they flaunt their sin.
They do not conceal it.
Woe to them,
for they have brought evil on themselves.

Today in this great country abortions are preformed every single day at a rate of 1 every 26 seconds, the people have forgotten what it means to blush, and they flaunt their sin into the face of a God they no longer believe in.

Who dad, who is responsible for this result of where we are now? Us. The dads. The spiritual leaders of the house that have either backed down from our job, or never knew the job qualifications, or knew the qualifications and just did not care. But there is a new day dawning men and it’s time to do something about it!

If you keep reading through Isaiah, you will come to the part where Isaiah takes responsibility to do something about the way things are. He says five words that change everything.

Isaiah 3

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying:
Who should I send?
Who will go for Us?
I said:
Here I am. Send me.

Here I am. Send me.

I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I will stumble, but here I am, send me. Dads, this needs to be our mindset for our family. Your wife needs you to be there, to stand in the gap, and declare that no matter what happens in the house, you are there. Your kids need to know beyond any doubt that you have their spiritual back, and that can only be done by a dad who is training and teaching them.

Here I am.

That can be hard sometimes. Here is a personal example. In my job, I have recently been asked to assume a temporary duty of state construction engineer/assistant state engineer. In taking this job I would receive a temporary pay raise and earn about $2,000 over the next four months when you add up everything.

That sounded great at first. Then comes the other part of you will need to be here three days a week. I would have to do one of two options of either driving six hours round trip three days a week or spend the night one or two days a week. Both options would leave my house in a place where I am not here. I would have the ‘send me’ part down, but not the ‘here I am’.

Although this would be a great opportunity for my career, I did not take it. Because my first and foremost job in life is that of dad. My second is that of children’s pastor, and taking this opportunity would also stretch me rather thin in that area. The primary place of a dad is at the home, not the office, not the gym, not in a video game, not the ball field, not the golf course, it is home!

Send me.

Send me to do what? Your job at home is to teach your kids diligently!

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One.
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.
7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead.
9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

It is the responsibility of the dad to make sure that your kids know who God is. We are to saturate the lives of our kids with Gods words, his actions in our lives, how he leads us, and how he sustains us daily. You may say “Steve, this was never done with me. I don’t know how.” Well good thing you are reading this, because here is a list to start with.

  • Pray for your family
  • Study God’s word
  • Share God’s word with your family
  • Pray as a family

It’s not easy men.  It is a change that will rock you to the core if you have never done it before. It is also something that will effect your kids for the rest of their life in a positive way.

You must remember, God placed you as the head of the house, you are given the responsibility of what happens in the house. So stand up and say here I am, send me.  Just let the first place you go be your own house!

I’m just a Husband Of A HomeSchooling Mom,
Steve Blackston

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Homeschooling Parents

About David and Leslie Nunnery

Leslie Nunnery and her husband David founded Teach Them Diligently, the nation’s premier source for gospel-centered homeschool events. With seven years of homeschooling experience from preschool-high school and a passion to encourage and equip homeschool families, this mom of 4 shares her know-how and insights weekly through Teach Them Diligently media and on TeachThemDiligently365.com.

Yes, I want more from this Homeschooling Community!

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