Strengthen Your Family Through Biblical Homeschooling

Tag: busy

“Yes, I’d love to…”

“Sure! I’ll be there…”

“You can count on me…”

“Let’s go…”

Do you find yourself saying things that like far too often? I sure do. As homeschool moms, we are so eager to please and to help others that we often take on more than we could actually ever tackle in a week– let alone in a day. Not only do we take on outside obligations, running around like crazy trying to keep up with a myriad of things that we have added into our lives (many of which we can’t even remember WHY we added in to begin with,) but we never even adjust our expectations of what our family life will look like once we add the full-time job of homeschooling our children.

It’s no wonder we’re frazzled and frustrated. We’ve created  a recipe for disaster for ourselves, and so often we can’t even figure out a good way of escape.

Yet, God’s Word tells us that He “is not the author of confusion, but of peace…” (I Cor. 14:33) Does your attempt at serving God and others bring peace? If not, do you think that maybe you’ve taken on more than He ever designed for you to?

As a chief offender in not walking in God’s peace due to circumstances of my own making, I have put a lot of thought and prayer into trying to figure out how to unravel some of the messes I’ve made. Know what I figured out?

I can’t do everything! (Profound, eh?)

But, my dear friend, neither can you! You can’t be on the go all the time, trying to give experiences to your children while simultaneously giving them a peaceful home any more than I can. You can’t be pouring out all the time, leaving little time for soaking in, and not become withered and dry. And, you can’t add the time and energy of homeschooling into your life and still do everything the same way you used to do it before you homeschooled. You will burn out. You will be frustrated. Your family will feel the tension emanating from you. And, you will find that instead of finding peace and joy in your journey, you’ll be anxious and irritable more often than not.

What causes this anxiety and irritability in us? 4 big causes quickly come to mind.

Getting in over our heads.

This often shows up through some of the big, creative ideas we strive to incorporate into our days. We find all these fantastic new things we can start doing, and we try to mash them all together and add them in all at once. We tend to forget that those modeling the good ideas were only doing one of them at a time– not all of them. We neglect to remember that whether or not we are able to inject all kinds of creative experiences and projects into our homeschool is not a good benchmark for whether we are successful at the mission God has given us or not.

Another way we can get in over our heads is simply by saying yes to too much. There are a million things I would love to do, but there are very few that ONLY I can do. I have to be very careful, especially at this precious time of life with my children that I have plenty of time and energy to devote to those critically important things that only I can do.

Not Cutting Things Out To Accommodate What Our Life Looks Like Now.

When I added homeschooling into my life, the way I spent my time changed drastically. But, I realized that my expectation of what I could accomplish and how things would run didn’t change at all. I was still looking at things as if I had the free time to manage our home, our finances, etc. the very same way. But, I couldn’t. When I didn’t make allowances for a different expectation, I was frantically trying to achieve what I once had time to do– and I failed miserably time and time again. Or, I would strive for perfection, often leaving a wake of destruction behind me. Those most often harmed by that wake? My family. The very people I was trying to give the “perfect” to in the first place. We have to re-evaluate the way we do things as well as our expectations in light of our new reality.

Not Delegating.

This one is a tough one for me, for I have a terrible “I’ll just do it myself” streak in me. I have failed so often by asking my children to do something only to swoop in and do it for them or behind them rather than being willing to accept a child’s job and to take the time to teach them. My natural inclination is just to go on and take over– “I can do this quicker…” “I can do this better…” and when I do that, I rob my children of the satisfaction of a job well done, and I add obligations to my day that I should have allowed someone else to do. Before long, I’m right back to trying to do all the things I was able to do before, and that does not help me to be able to do the things that only I can do.

Believing A Lie.

I can’t help but wonder how often we are adding all these things into our lives because we are believing the lie that the world tries to tell us that “we are not enough for our children.” We run around giving them more and more experiences because we don’t want them to “miss out” on anything, become bored, or resent us for homeschooling them. Remember, God is the One that called you to do this, and He is the One that will equip you to do it. He didn’t make a mistake when He chose you to be your children’s mom or even when He chose you to be your children’s teacher. God created your family, and it is through that marvelous creation that you have the opportunity to Teach Diligently and to pass on your faith. Never fall for the world’s lies

God tells us His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matt. 11:30) Is that how you feel today? Does it seem that you’re carrying an easy, light yoke? If not, perhaps you should take some time this weekend to prayerfully consider what you’re trying to do that simply isn’t for this season and definitely isn’t God’s best for you right now. Remember, you cannot do everything because you are not called to do everything, but by God’s grace you can do exactly what you are called to do.

I recorded a short video about this topic for our Teach Them Diligently 365 site.(Click here to watch it now.) If this has resonated with you, please take a few more minutes to check it out. I believe that God wants us all to rest in Him, to trust His plan, to accept His easy, light yoke as we follow Him. Yet, day after day I talk to moms who simply aren’t resting in Him and their households show the effects of that. Let’s repeat together that we “can’t do everything…” And let’s seek God’s face for what we can do in this season of our lives– and then do it heartily as to the Lord.

How I pray that through engaging with Teach Them Diligently blog and videos throughout the year and by attending a Teach Them Diligently Convention in the Spring, you will find your family strengthened in countless ways through Biblical Home Education. Join the 365 community for year round encouragement and mentoring. Register for the convention and start making your plans to join us there. Just think of what could be accomplished if all of our families were functioning according to His perfect plan for us.

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That's Why I'm Here- Proper Response To Our Busy Days and A Strategy For Serving Like Christ
Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was stressed. I was irritable. I felt like Chicken Little shouting “the sky is falling!” everywhere I went. Many things that absolutely shouldn’t have affected me at all made me very angry. I allowed myself to react completely out of control. It was awful.
Last night at prayer meeting, the Lord reminded me of a study I did some time ago. This passage was only mentioned in passing by one of the members of our church, but the Lord used it to really get my attention. The  account on my heart is found in Mark chapter 1 which relays the events of one of the busiest recorded days in Jesus’ life.  Jesus had cast out demons, taught, healed the sick, and traveled from place to place. Early the next morning, He arose and went out into a secluded place to pray.  It wasn’t long before the disciples came seeking him– “Master, everyone is looking for you!”  In my head, I can hear the panic that I often experience when I feel out of control. –>Jesus was an amazing teacher! Jesus could heal! Jesus could cast out demons! But they couldn’t– and there were people there waiting!  WHERE WAS JESUS WHEN WE NEED HIM??? Jesus’ response, though,– after that incredibly busy day when He had poured Himself out over and over on behalf of the people– was not “Give me a break! I served them ALL DAY yesterday! Do they have any idea what all I do for them?”  Instead, His words pierced my soul right in my chair, and I hope they changed the course of my life forever.  He said simply,
“”Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.”
That was WHY He was here– to meet needs, to heal, to teach, to lead people to His Father. THAT WAS WHY! Everything He did or said fell within that mission! It determined even His reactions.

Can you relate?

What does your busiest day look like?  Teaching, dishes, laundry, meals, plans, service, errands, lessons, ballgames, Church Activities… What is your reaction when the people God has called you to serve want just one more thing? How do you react when you’re just wanting to get something done, but your six-year old needs direction for what to do next?  Mine? Not like Jesus’ reaction most of the time.
Yesterday, I failed to be Christlike again. People I love asked me for help (can you imagine?) and I had a terrible attitude about it.  I could feel the frustration and the anxiety welling up within me as I overreacted to just about everything.  But, “that’s why I’m here!”  I am here to shepherd that little one who keeps patiently asking me time after time what to do next, and who just wants to be near me. I’m here to shepherd the hearts of those older ones, too, who seem to magically disappear so as to NOT be told what to do next. (Do yours ever do that, or is it exclusive to our family?)

Some of the things that make up our busiest days are part of God’s call on our lives– but, as God keeps pointing out to me, much of this busy-ness we put on ourselves, don’t we?

Some of the things that make up our busiest days are part of God's call on our lives-- but, as God keeps pointing out to me, much of this busy-ness we put on ourselves, don't we? Jesus tells us in Matthew “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (11:28-30)  God’s yoke is easy? His burden is light? Hmmm… if that’s the case, then why do so many of us feel so downtrodden? Why are we so frustrated?  That certainly begs the question of how much do we put on ourselves that aren’t ours to bear, either because we are always seeing needs and wanting to meet them or for other reasons such as discontent where we are or pride for wanting more? It is great to want to serve, and God has certainly called each of us TO serve, but Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Yet we tend to put difficult yokes and heavy burdens on ourselves– then blame the Lord when we cannot keep up!  A pastor friend of mine wrote a Facebook status once that absolutely rocked my world!  He said, “God has called us to be SOMEWHERE… God has not called us to be EVERYWHERE!” But dear friends, do you ever– like me– sacrifice the SOMEWHERE on the altar of the EVERYWHERE?  Raise your virtual hand if you do!

If we had a clearer sense of Why We are Here, perhaps that would allow us to make wiser decisions about the yokes and burdens we take on, don’t you think? Let’s take a look at this together.

As I was thinking about this sacrifice of the somewhere that I tend to make, the Lord brought to my mind homemade bread. (Bear with me here, there is a point to this!)  To make really good bread, the dough has to be kneaded just the right amount, right? The kneading process warms and stretches all those gluten strands, making springy and elastic dough.  If the dough isn’t kneaded enough, it doesn’t spring up enough; it looks flat and has a dense Breadtexture; it tends to tear when you try to cut it.  Over-kneaded dough is no better.  One bread-making site reads,  “Loaves made with over kneaded dough often end up with a rock hard crust and a dense, dry interior…”  Now, keeping with our “bread” analogy, I doubt many reading this are under-kneaded– I doubt too many of us have too little to do and just sit around idly, BUT Are you over-kneaded??  Does the way you are managing your life and your family leave you with “a rock hard crust and a dense, dry interior?” I have wasted far too many days that way! That is NOT the impression I want to give my children of what serving Christ does to a person!!  That is a product of my trying to be EVERYWHERE and sacrificing the SOMEWHERE!  But why? Why do I do that?

Could it be that I feel like the SOMEWHERE in which I live is not important–like it is not making a big enough difference in the world?

Never Lose Sight of the kingdom significantSo, Why am I here? Where has God called me, and what has He called me to do?  We have to figure those things out, so we can then weigh every opportunity, every need, every turn in light of that.  We’re going to look very briefly at some roles I am called to play as are most of you– there is not nearly enough space to fully develop these thoughts or to jump in and look at what scripture has to say about each role, but I urge you to think through your own list and take time to really evaluate those roles for yourself!  We all need to weigh the Somewhere tasks versus the Everywhere opportunities.

First of all, I am a child of the King.

I have a video of my older daughter, who received Christ as her Savior when she was 4. I asked her what she had done, and she told me she was now a princess– she was a child of the King! I have never forgotten her sweet little voice saying those words, and I am so thankful that even as a 4 year old, she knew she was a child of the King! Everything I do and say should be to do the work of my Father. If any of you reading this don’t know that you, too, are a child of the King of Kings, I would love to talk to you about that!  Becoming a princess like my 4 year old did, will forever change the course of your life as you discover there is One Who is much more worthy to live for than yourself.

In addition to being a child of the King, I am called to be David’s wife.

I was called to be David’s wife well before I was called to be the mom of the four amazing children God has given us.  Even at the various stages of our life when the children demand a LOT of attention, I am still called to be his wife– oh how many marriages are destroyed when we forget that! Don’t allow yourself to sacrifice the somewhere of your marriage on the altar of the everywhere your children want to be, go, experience, do, etc.  That makes for a tired, stressed and broken wife at the end of the day. I want to be a delight to him. I want to be a helper to him. I don’t want to affect him with my “rock hard crust” that I get from taking on too much.  I have found that my attitude about my work, about the children, and about everything else directly affects my husband. It took me years to see that because he loves me so much, he wants to make everything right for me. When I am out of kilter, he goes into overdrive to make things right– no matter what. So, my attitude about what God has called me to do– and my reaction to the “just one mores” can affect the rest of my household very quickly when I become like a dripping faucet around my husband.  Again, that is NOT the picture I want to present of what serving God looks like or of what a Christian Marriage should look like.  Ladies, I encourage you to remember your marriages!! Flirt with your husbands, spend time with them. Remember, it’s because of your love for him that you became a Mommy in the first place!! I need to be willing to set aside my own pride, exhaustion, and well, even my own will sometimes, to serve him– for as his wife “that’s why I’m here!”

I am also called to be mom to my four Children.

That means that in varying ways throughout their lives, I am privileged to take care of them, to disciple them, to Teach Them Diligently and point their hearts toward their Creator, Savior and King.  That takes a lot of time and preparation, but OH the payoff!!  At whatever stage of life you are in, whether you have babies and you are so sleep deprived that you can hardly form two sentences that seem coherent or whether you have young children that are so active that you feel like you can hardly keep up with them. Some of us have teens that we’re now wanting to hold onto tightly or older ones that have already left our nests. Through each phase, we must seek the way to shepherd and disciple our children in that stage and be willing to spend the time– in that SOMEWHERE to which we are called– to work on it. I have a great relationship with my 15 year old son, but that was born out of hours upon hours spent together when he was younger- reading, talking, laughing, singing, playing together. Those younger days when your activities seem so mundane are critical for building a foundation for the teen years. Never ever lose sight that you are doing Kingdom significant work each and every day in your home. We cannot let Satan tear apart our families and make our homes a battleground because as moms we sacrifice the precious SOMEWHERE on the altar of the EVERYWHERE!!

Finally, I am called to serve others.

This looks different for everyone and varies greatly with what stage of life you are currently in. God has been preparing each of us for the exact mission He has for us right now! You, busy mom, who sometimes feels like you are totally “on the shelf” so to speak, since your life is almost constantly within the four walls of your home– You are uniquely equipped to reach the people God brings across your path. These people may or may not be within the reach of your pastor or any other person. God has planted individuals who need you to serve them in different ways– all around you– in your neighborhood, at your grocery store, at your co-op.  Can you see them?  I am so concerned, friends,  that I become so busy with the EVERYWHERE that I miss the people God has put all around my SOMEWHERE.  My heart is crying out, Father, forgive me!
My call, my somewhere– looks very different than yours.  God has equipped me and prepared me for my call. He has promised never to give me a burden that I am unable to bear– and He makes that same promise to you. How often, though, does our discontent, our pride of wanting to do more, cause us to look beyond what God has given us to do and to heap upon ourselves burdens that are too heavy and difficult for us?  How often do we look at the seemingly common-ness of our daily lives and desire– even seek out– more to do, be, etc.?
 
Let us remember that there are no common tasks to God!! God has KING-SIZED plans for us Mommies!!  Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for the difference we can make in the lives of our children is earth-changing! Oh, may we not sacrifice this beautiful SOMEWHERE on the altar of EVERYWHERE! May we always remember That’s Why We’re Here!
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About David and Leslie Nunnery

Leslie Nunnery and her husband David founded Teach Them Diligently, the nation’s premier source for gospel-centered homeschool events. With seven years of homeschooling experience from preschool-high school and a passion to encourage and equip homeschool families, this mom of 4 shares her know-how and insights weekly through Teach Them Diligently media and on TeachThemDiligently365.com.

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