The deep sadness overwhelmed my heart. “God, why, oh why?” I whispered. That sharp pain was back again. The wound that I thought had healed had reopened; bleeding like when it was first made. Years ago, I had dealt with this wound. I thought it was healed, but sometimes this deep hurt surprises me. It doesn’t matter where the hurt stemmed from this time; it always looks the same.
All the feelings came flooding back; pain, rejection, sorrow, loneliness, deep sadness. Loss for what might have been. Longing for the emptiness in my heart to be filled. Satan began to whisper lies into my ear again.
“ You are not good enough.” “ You will never be the person God wants you to be.” “ You will never get over it.” “ You will never get anywhere with forgiving this time. Why do you even try?” “You keep coming back to this same pain. Nothing works.” “You are a failure.”
The lies of the enemy and the voice of Truth.
Unfortunately, as a homeschool mom of four, time cannot just stop as I process this pain. As the day went on, I tried to hide it. Years ago, the pain oozed out in the form of anger, impatience, and irritation. This time it was just deep sadness. The lies of the enemy were loud.
Yet in the back of my head, there was another voice. A voice speaking truth. A verse I had repeated to myself over and over came out, almost as naturally as my tears. “Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10
All of Psalm 27 is such a comfort when deep pain fills my heart. The words David wrote in verse 10 speak of his deep hurt. It doesn’t say that deep hurt never came for David. No. It uses the word though. Though the deep hurt of being forsaken came, the Lord lifted, received, and accepted him.
Where are you today?
Sweet Mama, what has you face down on the floor? What has you crying out in pain? What has you laying upon your bed unable to get up? What lies does Satan whisper in your ear? What keeps you from believing all the good God has for you?
What deep rejection do you need the Lord to heal you from? What is causing that deep ache in your heart today? Do you need someone to receive you?
Though my heart is full of sadness. . . Though I feel the sting of rejection. . . Though life is not going how I would wish. . .Though I am trying so hard to figure out this “Mom thing”. . . Though I feel like I am failing at my homeschool. . . Though Satan comes and says that I’ve ruined it for good this time. . . Though Satan says no one could love me again. . .
. . . The Lord will receive me.
No matter what your sweet heart is hurting from at this moment, Jesus wants to hold it for you. No matter what it might feel like, He is really just one little whisper away; ready to receive us. Can you picture Jesus holding out His strong hand to receive you?
Mama, let’s claim this promise. Let’s rest in this promise, and then we can turn our comforted heart back to Mommy-ing.
Join Trudie and more than a thousand other homeschool moms and dads in the Teach Them Diligently 365 community as we share our hearts, our struggles, our victories, our lessons, our laughter, and so much more as we all grow together as we endeavor to serve the Lord and show His love to as many as He brings across out paths. We would love to get to know you better there! Get more details and join us now by clicking here. You can also connect with Trudie on her blog Learning Little Lessons or via Instagram.