Over the past few months, I have fallen into that little pity party we homeschool Moms like to fall into. Maybe you’ve been there and maybe you haven’t.
In case you haven’t or aren’t sure, let me give you a little look.
In my mind I began saying things like:
- “This isn’t working”
- “They aren’t learning”
- “I’m failing at everything I am trying to do”
- “No one is having fun”
- and the list continued…..
I was ready to throw in the towel. Between being exhausted, not really knowing how to take the next step or even having the ability to form a thought without wanting to cry became overwhelming to me. I had finally hit a stage I never imagined I would experience as a wife, a mom and – add to that a homeschool Wife and Mom.
I was at a crossroads.
Have you ever been there? You know, that place where you are in front of a stop sign and you have to make a decision about which direction you should take. You know you can’t stay where you are, but you really don’t want to go in any of the directions in front of you.
Yes, that is exactly where I was.
Instead of taking one of the paths in front of me, I fell to my knees. I found my prayer closet and buried my head in the lap of my savior. I shared my heart. All of my failures, my desires, my plans, I laid them all there in front of me.
And He met me there.
He gave me a new direction and changed my perspective.
When I left my prayer closet, I picked up my Bible and a hot cup of tea and sat down to read. There before me were the words I needed. (Isn’t He always like that, giving us just what we need?)
“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” John 13:3-5 ESV
Those words hit me and awakened my heart, eyes and soul to the true perspective God wanted me to see. Jesus knew who He was in the Father. He knew the Father and the Father knew HIM! The Father had sent Him for that time and place. The Father had sent Him for a much larger role than any man (or woman) could ever play. He is the only one without sin and who came and completed his purpose without fail.
No other man or woman in the Bible fulfilled their purpose without sin.
- David committed adultery
- Noah had too much to drink
- Solomon loved women who worshipped idols
- the list goes on…
In that moment, I realized that I was finding my value in homeschool. Being ‘that’ homeschool Mom had become an idol. I had to redirect my thoughts and know that my value should only come from God. He created me (and you) for this time, right here and now. He created me to be the wife of my husband, the mother of my children, to teach them for this season and most of all, to be His child.
He created me for His purpose and for His glory.
And so, I went back to my family and apologized for having turned my eyes away from the Father. I asked them to forgive me for losing my perspective…
Then, I took my planner, opened it and asked God what He wanted me to do.
And He answered.
Are you at a crossroads? Do you need a new direction?