For the better part of the last 10 years my husband, AKA The Principal, has traveled.
He changed companies and, at one point, traveled less.
In the last 12-18 months, or maybe 24 months (it’s all blending together) he has traveled more.
I am thankful he has a job and I really try to focus on not complaining.
It was harder when I had 4 kids at home.
Around the 5 year mark, when they were 8, 10, 15 and 16, it was really tough.
The teen boys needed their dads guidance. The littles were a littl self sufficient, but still really needed mom. My mom was needing more hands on.
Those were some tough years.
Today I have 14 and 16 year old’s and no mom.
You would think it was easy street.
Well, it is if you are comparing our days to back then.
These are the things I have struggled with when he’s gone:
Let’s face, we are married. I like his companionship. He is my best friend.
He gets fancy dinners and fun hotels. Also adult conversation.
That he’s not always available for the family fun.
That something will happen to him on the road.
I do NOT compare myself to a single mom.
I have somebody providing our needs.
I GET to stay home with our children.
How do I overcome these struggles?
When I find myself going ‘there’ I pray. Pray for The Principal. Pray for peace. Pray for my own icky heart to be cleansed.
We talk on the phone daily. Sometimes even iMessage. We never go to bed without saying good-night
Get over myself
Seriously. Does he LIKE being gone so much? No, of course not.
Who am I to wallow in my woe is me he’s gone again?
Be thankful you have a husband sister, cause you have a friend who would give ANYTHING to spend one more day with her’s this side of heaven.
I really make the time when he is home intentional.
I don’t want us to be empty nesters and not know each other because he was gone so much.
How do we reconnect?
We Go on Dates
Whether just riding along to make a dump run or out for a coffee. Or our Bountiful Basket pickup.
We try to get away ALONE every weekend, if only for an hour or two.
We will go in our room and talk. (yes talk) The kids know we need our time. If getting away isn’t possible, this works.
If we are disconnecting
I’ll go with him for a day or two. Last May I got to go for 10 days. I wasn’t Cancun or Hawaii because he was working, but it was great to just be with him. I got to see a little of what he does all day. It helped me understand why he may not be happy, happy, happy when he gets home some days.
Having a husband that travels really makes you appreciate the time you do get to spend together.
Stay tuned for Homeschooling When Dad Travels: Kids Point of View. How to help them cope when dad is away.
Mama Kautz is a self proclaimed Jesus Freak. She lives in North Idaho with The Principal with two of their four children. She is a Converse Wearing, Coffee Drinking, Homeschooling, Homesteading mama who strives to write Transparently for Christ.